1. Jesus, let’s think back. I was in year 8 and was on a train for 24 hours coming back from Longreach. I got there by writing a letter and being accepted. So all the beach kids went to the bush. His name was Reece. I kissed him in a game of truth or dare. He didn’t call me back. Slits. Wrists. ; ) 

2. Well, sort of coming up. I am moving to Melbourne. Soon. Soonish. Asap. Whenever we plan it/I tell my parents. It’ll be lovely. 

3. Ha! Lots. I was a kid on a mission with my friends in the street we lived on. The two worst: 1, I gravel rashed my face swinging on my stomach, thought I was blind and 2, I was spinning around and my fingernail was raped by a piece of tree when I hit the tree. I swore for the first time. My friends helped. 

4. Tough one. I actually trust the most nicest people. People that are genuine and kind usually. People I used to I don’t. I still trust friends like Christian but I’ve only maintained a few friendships since school. Which doesn’t bother me one bit. 

5. I wish I was one, sorta. “oh, she’s only seventeen. wine and whined and wound up over everything.”

6. Serious ones? 1. Others don’t count. 

7. Uhhhhh empathy? The ability to cry on demand so I don’t look heartless. But I m slowly getting it, it runs in the family. Sucks, I was choked up on Forrest Gump. 

8. Mexico, Greek Islands, Chicago, New York, San Fransisco, Aberdeen, Detroit, Tennessee, Japan, Holland and oh, so many more. 

9. Road trippin’, going to the beach and places around. Just doing whatever comes to mind with anyone who wants to join, really. Celebrating my 18th?

10. I have only been in Australian, around where I live, to different cities and to New Zealand for 4 days for my Aunty’s wedding. So exciting to be on a plane. 

11. My family, my extended family ie. my three lovely neighbours, My friends who I work with and who I know from elsewhere. Anyone really who sends out a good vibe. I have so much respect for them. 

12. Last night. I came home from Burleigh Heads, cleaned myself up, picked up Mitchell, met Tahlia and Christian for Mexican. We went to the ‘lookout’ near the river which was f’n freezing and smoked and talked till the movie was about to start. We all stayed in the car, Mitchell fixed my car clock, Jackson and Jorja met us and we went to see Transformers 3. While we were waiting me and Tahlia went to the bathroom and came back to catch up on the last few weeks we hadn’t worked together. I was informed and I informed her. She announced she was  a lesbian with her outfit and paired with my high pants we deemed it a lesbian date. Then we watched transformers 3 and I drove Christian and Mitchell home and we listened to good metal on the way. Rock on. 

13. Byron. Kinda. Uhhhhhh Melbourne mini trip? GETTING ACCEPTED INTO PSYCHOLOGY NEXT SEMESTER. And yeah. Turning 18? Kinda. 

14. Gong - Flying teapot * Young Veins (Die Tongiht) - The Young Veins * Pretty much every Young Veins, MGMT every song I like is pretty equal in this. My iTunes can’t decide.

15. I am wearing plain pajama pants, mismatched socks, mums white longs sleeve top and underwear. Yep, lookin’ fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine

16. Christian, tonight. We told secrets and promised to keep them. We talked about things we’re too shit to think about (and for me, f’n scared), just to make life easier. It was a nice eye opener from both parties though.  

17. That’s a hard one. I am PRETTY SURE the last time I cried was when I was told I ruined my parents 40th (which by the way is a total lie on their behalf. They only cared in the moment) by having a party which wasn’t a party but turned into one. I thought it was snazzy. They thought otherwise. We laugh now. That was over  a month ago. Seems like a record for this year!! 

18. As much as I hate to admit it or think about it. Being given a rose in front of most the grade in the last term of school. Before he changed, he was a human with a heart. Of course being me I looked at him sarcastically with one eyebrow raised in disgust until I realised it wasn’t a joke. 

19. Vomit, toads, being watched etc etc. More personally misinterpreting things socially, running out of conversation and people not embracing this pause making things awkward, looking back in ten years with the notion that I wasted these years. 

20. Oh god. Where to start? Probably not keeping my clothes on? I sort of regret that. I kind of stick to the moral of leaving something up to the imagination. I think I just cover up so much sober, it’s like when I am drunk it all wants to come out. Eh, it was fun. 

FIN. 

I’m good with words

Planning Byron, talking to fabulous friends, doing Yoga.

Warming to my hair, drinking chocolate listening to Gong. 

Good night in my opinion. 

I feel myself again. I have plans and interests and people that I’ve met and love. It’s nice to have this again, to get rid of the negativity in my life and finally find drama-free friends that want to live and be spontaneous.

Fuck, this is what I’ve been looking for for so long. People that get it and want the same thing as me.

I met a girl, Sally Yabsley. Such a cool person! We’re gonna move to Melbourne when uni finishes!! Going to plan it and go live in a share house and I will do psychology there and we’ll just LIVE. Cause that’s what we wanna do. Live. Live in Melbourne. Meet new people, have a fresh start. The only thing I worry about is proposing the plan onto mum and dad, but my uncle says that it will be good to get away and have a fresh start - to get away from the bogans! Ha! 

I met this other guy,too. SUCH COOL MUSIC TASTE. First person my age I’ve met with the most music in common. He’s going on a trip to England next year in a van. A FRIGGEN VAN! So cool! Anyway, we’re all going to Byron soon, which is so good! Bring on the Winter Winds on the coast! I am seriously happy at where I am and who I talk to. Everyone is similar/positive in the future which is what I love and need and have craved since year 10. For years I have been misguided by people/relationships that seemed to promise that but never deliver. Always a false facade to impress/agree with everything when really they have no fucking clue what they want and will be meatpuppets to their parents cause they’ll guide the way to success. 

Fuck success. I want to live. Money or no money. Seriously. That’s not my first concern, anyway. I don’t care.

I’m happy as fuck.  

it was crash bang boom and I was in love with him and he with me and it was going to last forever because he wrote me letters asking me to be his wife and have his children and we were sixteen but it didn’t matter because I loved him and it was going to last forever because I loved him and he loved me and it was going to last forever. Because.